too bad, november.

This is a weird month. Things have been looking bad for all who I know and as far as school, I have been slacking horrendously. It's really a shame. I can only blame it on me alone, however I went to see my doctor who told me that stress, depression and my extremely low Vitamin D levels are contributing to my lack of motivation, my constant sleepiness, and my lack of energy as well.

Besides that I am a lucky woman right now because I have a love interest that cares about me and vice versa. Because of that I know that alot of things will be alright. Maybe not everything, but just having that additional light in your life brings about a certain type of joyousness and happiness that is much appreciated.

I love my job.
I have a slight distaste for weed now therefore I don't smoke now. For one, I haven't had anything exotic since I brought my stuff back from NJ and because of that I don't really like anything else because of that slumpy, dead weight feeling it gives you, and that nasty ass taste it leaves in my mouth that makes me want to brush my teeth right after. So I pass on many blunts now. I'm over it.

I just really need to put the missing piece of the puzzle in place and that would be to get my school shit together. I am a smart cookie and I need to use this to my advantage and remember why I am here. I need to really take advantage of my brain and be excited to learn. Somehow I must figure out a way to make myself eager to receive education because sometimes it seems like a chore. I realize what the power of knowledge is but I just don't know how to translate this into really getting my education. UGHH! I have some work to do.

My roommate and her bf fought the other day and I called the cops. Knives were involved, pots, her computer is nearly split in half, she bit the shit out of his shoulder and I believe chunks were missing. I'm not going to even tell you how I feel about this situation because honestly does it even matter? She will still be dating and dealing with dude, and his 1 yr old, and his babymoms, and his lack of diploma, GED, car, place to live (he has technically been living with us for the past 2 months), or job. I hate to be a Debbie Downer but some people really don't ever want to be more than nothing, and the women and men who support these types are pathetic.

I need to really start going to church because I am honestly fearful that the world we live in is sure to end soon. I don't know that religion has anything to do with it but I definitely need to approach a spiritual understanding and relationship so that I can keep myself sane in these times. I'm scared.

LED issue.

My computer is broke.

Why is weed still not legalized?

What if I dropped everything I'm doing and pursued another career. I wonder if I'd be prosperous.......hmmm............ I wonder about this all the time because I'm happy but I'm not doing my "dream job." I want to pursue a career in art or fashion or in the art of fashion but I don't honestly know if there's a title for what I want to do. Honestly I want to be a jack of all trades in all things related to fashion, merchandising, makeup and.... no not hair I hate touching other people's hair. But honestly what girl doesn't want to do that? I feel like all girls want to play dress up all day and call that a career which is why I'm not to enthused about veering off of the path that I'm on now. I also want to write a book which I can very well do while I am in school now. I was in the process of writing one but that was short lived because I am very uninspired by where I am in life right now. Although I will say that things are going well for me, there is nothing happening that IMO would be "book worthy." I feel like I should be happy that things are as such because things can only go 2 ways, better or worse, and it looks to be at about 40/60.

I got word that my great grandpa is doing much worse as far as his health and it scares me. Not only does it worry me about his health but the subsequent followup of my bedridden great grandmother dying almost immediately after has been predicted and is very likely. She has been tube fed, diapered and medicated for the past 4+ years and I feel as though her strong will is only holding for my great grandfather who was in his healthier days until about this time last year. He has been diagnosed with liver, lung and...prostate(?) cancer and because of his condition now has insisted on refusing chemo. Also, because of his cancer it is now painful for him to eat so he is starved as well. My poor grandpa, I pray that he gets better but at this point it's only a matter of time before he dies. Boo tells me not to talk like that because "it's in God's hands" but I honestly do not want him to suffer, which he is. I love him :'(

Boo met my mom last wknd which I was none too eager about. Not that I didn't want them to meet but I felt like it was too early for my liking. I obliged because my mom kept kinda pressuring me about it and I was tired of hearing her mouth and I wanted her to cook me dinner so I just said yes. They both liked each other.... so whatever.

And again I ask, why is weed still not legalilzed?

school's over.

Summer timeeeee! :)

school
I did the best that I've ever done this semester than any semester since being in college so I'm veryyyerryyerryyy happy! Even though I only got a 2.5, it's the best I've done so can I give myself a little pat on the back for that. My overall GPA is a 1.9 now so I definitely have to make sure I do great so I can get my overall up because that's nothing to brag about.

My summer classes will be starting in July and I'm really excited to get to it so I can get this fucking school shit over with. At the same time I'm thinking about seeing about doing a year medical program and leaving UNC. I don't really wanna work in the medical field (I hate blood because of all the germs it carries and I think I'm a bacteriophobe). I really want to work with kids for the rest of my life but honestly, the salary is not great. I think I would enjoy my work, but at the same time I have a certain standard of living that I want to attain and I want to be able to afford and I really can't do that with a simple SpEd degree. So I'm going to be looking @ some schools through this year so that by next semester, if I'm going to leave UNC, I can do so and not have to worry about registering for spring.

friends
I talked to my old bestfriend, Brielle. We stopped talking August of last year because the bitch did not try to see me when I left last year so I cut her off but I missed her and wanted an update on her life and also update her about mine which leads me to my next topic...

l_ve
Me + b. Me + b. Me + b. That's still my boocakes and everything *wink wink* is grrrreattt etc. etc. He's taking me to get a tatt for my bday prez and I'm still in the works of coming up with the best design and location so... I'll post pics when everything is done.

fam
I'm looking for a place with my mom to move into in Sept. right now. She wants to move and I am sick of living with people who did not grow up with the same discipline that I grew up with. I hate when the kitchen counters are dirty and the garbage bag falls into the garbage and no one takes it out. Then my roommate had the nerve to get a fucking gerbil or guinea pig or some kind of rodent and she don't even clean up her damn mess as a human. I am just disgusted by it. Not only are rodents not pet material but the little shit sits on a table in our living room and squeals! It just makes me squeamish thinking about it!

I was trying to avoid living with my mommy but I think it's the best decision now. Plus I'm still saving for a car so not having to pay rent is a plus.

everything else
I'm still drug free :) And my liquor tolerance is shitty now so I don't even drink anymore like that. I don't miss anything yet but there's been so much going on to distract me so I'm good. Also I've been trying to keep up with my reading list (on the right) so not smoking is making me definitely more focused and feeling less lazy.

I'm trying to change my diet too. I lost my dreaded freshman 15 that I gained with diet and exercise, and I want to lose 20 more but everybody else tells me I'll look like a sick blow up doll if I do (because of my boobs and 20 pounds of weight loss on a 5'3" body is kind of drastic) but I at least want to lose 10 more just because. Since turning 20 I'm nervous because I know as you get older your metabolism slows down and one of my fears is to get old and be fat. It seems a little shallow but it's real talk. I don't want to be one of those women who regrets not getting fit earlier and hurting myself just to shed baby weight and get my metabolism up. #itiswhatitis.

quitting for a while.

Looking for a new job, car, and apartment so I don't need bud to distract me.

And I'm dead ass.

gAypril.

I never really like April. Actually, fuck April. It's a month before my bday so I'm just impatient as fuck, I am @ my peak ugly because my allergies fuck with my eyes and make me look like a murderer, and its a month before summer break and I don't really give a fuck about 10 page papers and shit and the weather is so fucking phoney. The only highlight of this month is 420 and I mean, nigs kinda stop hyping this day up after they leave high school.

Since I last posted my boo's bday came and went. He's 23 now. I was happy to spend it with him. I got arrested on some bullshit. =X I got wasted one night and woke up with the worst hangover and had to work 8 hrs the next day. I almost fought another one of my roommates because she also be on some other shit.

That's about it.

See how gay April is?


POP!POP!

furthermore.

Breakfast @ 2am - Munchies. *trey songz* YUUPP!

It looks like after the little time I spent on superficial-ass tumblr, my ANTI-TWITTER movement, and facebook that aint been the same since '08, this blog here is what I am the most dedicated to giving a shit about anymore.

But basically I don't have the time or knowledge to mess with all this html or designy shit. So don't expect any major changes. Like every 4 months I think I wanna change my page up and get cute wit it but I never know where to start. And all I really know about html/graphics is how to make things bolditalicizedetc... and cartoonize my face. Sooo... this will be the most intricate this page gets. TAA DAA!

I got spazzed on by my coworker yesterday because I opened the store almost a half hour late. Even though it wasn't really my fault. (Yes, it was.) Whatever though, I'm looking for some new shit anyways. *I've never said this before--> "On to the next one."

Boocakes came to visit me @ Ca-Laire's today! My last hour of work was peachy after that. :):))) Gay smiles. Then babysitting my little niglets BJ + Coopie after. My Mondays are nuts.

This nigga got me listening to the classical music station to sleep. Country mutherfucker.

Goodnight/morning.

filling you in.

Just so you know I'm supposed to be reading Turn of the Screw right now. I used to read alot when I was younger but now I feel like I should either be doing something or relaxing instead of reading. Basically, reading is no longer relaxing, it's become a chore.

I have bad cramps right now. I'm kind of feeling very carefree because my cramps are taking over my whole life and it makes me not want to do shit.

I spent $20 ordering Pizza Hut $0.50 wings and chocolate dunkers and I only ate about 1/4 of what I bought. That was an indulgent waste of money. My appetite isnt the same. Idk if it's because I'm getting older but I don't like fast food anymore. It makes me sick. Hamburger patties look like fucking chopped flesh nowadays. Yuck! I wish I had more time and money to make food at home but it's more expensive to buy groceries to cook for one person than it is to just get food out.

I feel like I've met my match and my long term spades partner (boocakes). We spank ass every game and even if we get set twice we pull through and come out on top.

...So much subliminal.

CRAMPSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS ! *punches the wall*

I just spent an hour on facebook and still didn't finish reading Turn of the Screw. Gayy.

I can never think of things to talk about on here anymore. I've become uninspired. My life is mundane. There's no such thing as a "weekend" anymore. Monday's I open the store @ 9:30am then babysit until 9:30pm. TWTh I'm in school. FSatSun work again. Next week, repeat.

I didn't quit smoking cuz I'm not getting a new car until Jan. LOL! (I bet yall knew that wasn't gonna last.) But I hardly smoke anymore though. I get my cravings but I rarely keep weed around me and since boocakes quit for a while and I refuse to buy my own (we stopped doing those sophomore yr.) I'm only willing to purchase o's and up because buying 10s and 20s is a waste of money. And at this point in my life what do I really need with an oz of green and no one to blow down with? I don't have the time for that and that will just result in either stale ass bud or an over dose. So I'll just stick with getting nugs from mommy and waiting until my nigga gets back in the game.

I need to change my hair or something. I wanna cut it kinda but I'm scared. I am too "tenderheaded" to get braids. WEAVE well............................... it's a thought but.............................. it's NOT REAL and................. I don't HATE it but.................... ehh.

My roommates nigga finished off a bottle of my juice for the 3rd time this week. So you know I had to put somebody in check today, right? Yeah, I'm not the one.

My booty getting fat boyyy :) And I'm keeping the rest of my shit on point. I'm trying to lose maybe 5 more pounds for the summer so back to baby food, fresh fruit, nasty granola bars, soup, agua all day, green tea, blazay blah and most of all the gymmmmmmm :) I don't really have time to go to the gym anymore but after I gained and lost my freshman 15 I refuse to gain it again or surpass 145 so I gotta do what I gotta do and stop being lazy on my off days.

We're supposed to be taking a roadtrip to Jersey in May. I'm trying to buy my baby cousin an itouch for his grad present. He's like my little brother and I just wanna get him something that I know he'll really appreciate. I miss my grandma to pieces too. She is like, my whole life.


That's her facebook pic. (DON'T ASK LOL)

This is becoming an overshare. Goodnight.

yesterday.

So about 24 hours ago I hopped in the shower and decided I wanted to get another tatt. Since then, I have not only gotten another tattoo but I also got my old one redone and revamped a little bit.

It was quite an impulsive decision but tattoos are very cheap down here. Also, the tattoo guy was kinda cool so I think I met me a new friend.

Right now I'm drugged up on 3 Pamprin, a 600mg Ibuprofen, weed and, Xenadrine. (No, I'm not trying to kill myself I just forgot about taking the Ibuprophen because I had killa cramps, and I took one of my roommates Xenadrine because I knew I was bouta get silly with the leftover spaghetti and meatballs I made the other day. *shrug*)

The one on my back didn't hurt that bad, it was kinda that whole pleasure pain thing where it hurts but it kinda tickles...y'know. But in the center it hurt ALOT. Getting my original wrist tattoo refilled hurt like fucking hell. I don't remember it hurting so bad the first time but it might be because he had to go over the first one and he was trying to make it really dark so I don't need to get it redone again.

Me and my mom are going for Vietnamese tmrw and I'll tell her then. I would post pics but it's still really fresh and because it's kinda hard to take a picture of my tramp stamp without falling or accidentally touching it, I'm just gonna wait a couple days before I try to take pics and even then I'll decide if I wanna post because you'd be getting alot of crack on your screen in order to get the full effect, nahmean?

Yes, you heard correct, I got a tramp stamp and if you don't like it you can eat my twat.

That will be all.

quickie.

Ima type this shit up real quick and then Ima get back to my homework.

Things for this past month have been on the up and up for me... which is good. It's a new semester. Rent is paid. I got to buy myself some nice late christmas gifts (32g itouch [i've been planning my savings for that since nov.] some sneakers [despite how much I claim I don't wear them anymore] the spizikes, and since i got my refund check also *cha-ching* I just went hog wild and got flu games too).

I jailbroke my ipod and now I get to put things like weed backgrounds on it ;] Yahoozie!

Me and mommy are straight. Every situation I have with every nigga that I talk to right now is good. So I'm a happy camper.

I didn't stop smoking.

I got blasted drunk last night and we had a mini-party where apparently I kissed this white guys stomach who had a huge lion head tatt covering the whole thing. *shrugs*
(I lowkey like white guys though so this doesn't actually surprise me, one bit.)

And errumm... that's enough shameful admissions for one day.

Me and my roommate just had an argument because she put my clothes on top of the washer instead of putting them into the dryer or at least saying something like an ol' ignant ass. I don't leave my clothes in the washer like that but my mom needed me to do something for her so I dropped what I was doing.

Idk.. I'm trying to grow as a person and see the error in my ways more but I just don't see how I'm wrong for expecting someone to speak up or be a little selfless.

And that about sums up everything.

I would post a pic but that's mad work to upload and blahh blahh blahh... Maybe nxt time.

ahh.. a new year!

Here we go! It is 2010 and I am ready for this year to be FTW.

I don't like to make resolutions so I don't have anything that I plan on doing this year that I didn't do last. As things progress I'll make the changes that I see fit but I'm not gonna make overall goals for a whole year. That's a pre-failed promise in my opinion.

I went on this party bus event to NY to bring in the new year with a few of my highschool friends & their friends from their schools. It was decent. It was just really crazy. Mad sleezy heffers, and arguments and fuckery was in place. It was just ridiculous. And I am not a friendly drunk. I'm belligerent and grumpy like hell. Waiting for an opportinity to cuss a nigga out. So I had to do that twice in order to put people back in their place. People were getting kicked off the bus and shit. But aside from all that extra the unltd. free liquor at my disposal, champagne toasts, and ripping bitches shit was well worth the $60 admission fee.

I'm at Grandmas. So far I've hit all of the points of people that I NEEDED to see except for my father's side of family, which I believe I'll be catching up with this wknd. Hopefully everything goes well. Even though I hate the ridiculous drive it is to get here, I don't think I'll be able to fly again without having a car. It's really annoying having to rely on others and it makes me feel like I'm not grown enough to do things whenever the fuck I want, which I clearly am.

I heard one of my roommates smoked weed while I was gone. Yes, the churchy one. That makes me laugh. And I'm mad I missed it. I heard she hated it though so... I bet she wasn't hitting that good-good. *kanye shrug*

I'm watching some shit called American Gangster and it's cool.

I don't think I'll be as up on my blogging and net surfing in a minute because I'm trying to rid some of my small distractions. So my posts will probably be more few and far between.

I'm trying to concentrate on making big moves this year so I gotta be as focused as possible. That means less free time.

But I do wanna make some changes for my blog in this year too so I'll try to make sure I make time for that.

Now let me get back to watching American Gangster.

bum nights.

I'm a little tossed right now. I just got back from this club called The Breakfast Club with my roommates and that shit was not how it was last wk. That shit is too hood for my liking. But like country hood though; Crime Mob - Nuck if you Buck hood. So my wack ass roommates wanna leave and come back home knowing it aint shit to do here either! Womp womp.

And now some fuckery is going on outside. The sprinklers in the next building over went off people are running out.. but it's not a fire. Smh. This apartment complex is so ghetto.

Whatever though. I'm done.

FINALS CAN SMD!

I really hate this shit! It is so overwhelming come the end of the semester and sometimes I just wanna get it over with so much that I don't even think about it. It's either I UNDERstress or OVERstress. It's always an extreme with me and it can never be anything normal. There was alot of pressure and crazy shit going on with me this semester and it's definitely been wearing me down. I sleep all the time, I feel depressed, I always feel like I'm worn out and I have this bad habit of clenching my teeth when I'm stressed out which, in turn causes more stress. I'm going to see a doctor about everything tomorrow because it's really time for me to get all of this together. I don't wanna see myself have another semester of shitty grades or even mediocre grades. That's not right. I know I put alot of negative pressure on myself sometimes and I don't give myself enough credit for the things I have done successfully but alot of that is because my main priority is school and that's what I keep fucking up with the most. Then on top of that my job takes alot of of me also. My whole day has been consumed since last Monday with either a full day of work or a full day of school. I know that's probably normal but it's starting to stress me out and all of the work I've been doing doesn't give me enough time to study and not feel like I'm overworking myself. I'm just ready for this semester to finally be done and I can start from scratch. I really need to learn how to manage my time better and have normal sleeping patterns because alot of my problems revolve around how irregular my sleeping patterns are and how I how my days in general are irregular. I just really need to get it together.

p.s. I'm jelly, my roommate's cousin is buying her a mac. >=[

what if...

If it's green and hairy, I will smoke it.

If it's funny and weird, I will love it.

If it's soft and cuddly, I will touch it.

If it's cool and sweet, I will drink it.

If it's flattering and tight, I will wear it.

If it's easy and fun, I will do it.

If it's dark and rich, I will taste it.

If it's fast and shiny, I will drive it.

If it's cute and clean, I will kiss it.

If it's meaningful and deep, I will read it.

If it's pink and sparkly, I will buy it.

...just so ya know.

top drawer. ;]

We all know what goes into the top drawer of our nightstand. When I was younger I never understood why my mom told me not to go into her nightstand drawer. And actually used to get pissed the fuck off when she told me not to go over there. That is until my little snoopy ass decided I wanted to be in the mix. Smh. What I saw disgusted me and it wasn't until I was about 14 or 15 that I understood what all that was about.

Here's some things that every female should have in their top drawer:

Magnums

Trojan Her Pleasure Condoms

Women should always have their own condoms so there is never an excuse for raw meat. It's hard to get caught up when it all gets hot and heavy and then he doesn't have a condom and neither do you. Invest $12 in your personal health and your future ladies.

A Bullet

A Regular Vibrator

Astroglide

No contest.

Toy Cleaner

If you have sex toys they should be clean. It's not hygienic to not use a toy cleaner and/or clean it regularly.

Or do this:


What do you have in your top drawer?

this is stupid.

Don't read this. I was just bored and using the internet to occupy my time. Whatup though?

1. What time did you get up this morning? 12:30pm
2. How do you like your steak? Medium well
3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? I do not pay for movies! I watch everything online. :)
4. What is your favorite TV show? Gossip girl! No contest.
5. If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be? Palisades.
6. What did you have for breakfast? I don't eat breakfast.
7. What is your favorite cuisine? Mexican.
8. What foods do you dislike? Most breakfast foods, ham, syrup, peanut butter...etc.
9. Favorite place to eat? Thai House Rock<3
10. Favorite dressing? Ranch, all day every day!
11. What kind of vehicle do you drive? A 96 Civic.
12. What are your favorite clothes? Naked.
13. Where would you visit if you had the chance? Haiti, DR, Amsterdam.
14. Cup 1/2 empty or 1/2 full? Depends on what's inside.
15. Where would you want to retire? Where ever my kids are.
16. Favorite time of day? 10pm.
17. Where were you born? Rahway, NJ.
18. What is your favorite sport to watch? College football.
19. Who are you most curious about their responses to this? Jesus'.
20. Bird watcher? I FUCKING HATE BIRDS!
21. Are you a morning person or a night person? Night. Morning is just always too damn early for me to think.
22. Do you have any pets? I had my shi tzu, Frisco, since I was 7 and he died last yr. So, no.
23. Any new and exciting news you'd like to share? Fuck no.
24. What did you want to be when you were little? I wanted to be a lawyer so I could wear cute pencil skirt sets. No lie.
25. What is your best childhood memory? I have alot, but the best would be when me and my white friend Ali used to carry my container of Barbies a mile and a half to her house so we could play there. Damn, that seems so long ago.
26. Are you a cat or dog person? Dogs.
27. Are you married? NO!
28. Always wear your seat belt? I keep it off until I get on the highway.
29. Been in a car accident? No.
30. Any pet peeves? Alot of pet peeves.
31. Favorite Pizza Toppings? Spinach.
32. Favorite Flower? Hibiscus.
33. Favorite ice cream? I can't choose just one.
34. Favorite fast food restaurant? Wendy's probs.
35. How many times did you fail your driver's test? Once. I ran 3 stop signs. Went through a red light and made a wide left turn.
36. From whom did you get your last email? Bank of America.
37. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card? Fortunoff.
38. Do anything spontaneous lately? Mhm, whatever.
39. Like your job? Love it!
40. Broccoli? Mmm!
41. What was your favorite vacation? Cruise with my ex.
42. Last person you went out to dinner with? Mexican with mommy.
43. What are you listening to right now? My ace yapping in my ear.
44. What is your favorite color? hot pank.
46. How many are you tagging for this quiz? Anybody who wants to do it.
47. What time did you finish this quiz? Shit, idk.
48. Coffee drinker? Yes. Holler!

and we about to let it blow.

.. I'm sorry I just really DON'T want a middle-aged white man rolling my JOINT (joints are last resort anyways, ez widers remind me of my mom)!

Yet another reason I smoke dolo and/or roll my own shit, I don't trust NOBODY'S saliva and nigs don't know how to burn after rolling.

Also, I can't stand chicks who think they too cute to roll. Move your bitch ass aside and gimme a fucking CD case.

insomnia: 04 - sex edition.

(Cartoons, because I still want the kiddies to come to my blog! :])

Everybody loves sex. Not necessarily the act of having sex, but people just love sex; whether they want to admit it or not. It's intriguing, mysterious, exciting, interesting, strange etc. So what better a topic to speak upon when I can't go to sleep and I've just gotten done masturbating (yes, I washed my hands) than SEX?

• I love sex. I can go long periods without it because I don't like to participate in floozy activities and I own a vibrator but once I get sex I'm instantly re-addicted.
• I think phone sex is really awkward.
  
• I've only had 2 orgasms ever.
• You burn about 200 calories per every 30 minutes of sex.
• I love hearing other people have sex! Except that time I heard my mom. WTF? That shit ruined my childhood.
• I always lie about how many people I've had sex with. That's no ones business but my own. It hasn't been alot but even if it was 2 people I'd say something different because no one deserves the truth about my sexual partners but me. (AND my future husby)
• Never anal. Never will.
  
• Humans and dolphins are the only people who have sex for pleasure.
• When I was younger I used to sneak and watch stuff like Taxicab Confessions and Real Sex on HBO. I was so badass.
• I taught some of my friends in middle school what masturbation was.
• Men aged 12 to 19 think about sex at least once every five minutes.
• I hate predictable sex in predictable places with predictable positions. After the 2nd time I have sex with someone, if they don't change it up somehow, I will go ape-shit and just start doing random things.
• I will have a 3-some one day but I refuse to eat another bitch's pussy.
  
• Male bats have the highest rate of homosexuality in all mammals. *Take that, all you fuckbags who think that homosexuality is "learned."
• I am the most porn-watching female that I know.
• If I have ever met you in person and I know your boyfriend/girlfriend, I have envisioned you two having sex at least one time. If you are a cute dude, I have envisioned you fucking me.
• Sex actually relieves headaches. (It can release the tension that restricts blood vessels in the brain.) No excuses!
• Sex when you know you JUST MIGHTTT get caught or walked in on, is 389581094 times better.
• My favorite male porn star is Rico Strong. Favorite female used to be Pinky but in my opinion Jazmine Cashmere has surpassed her in the game.
  
• More than half of British adults have had sex in a public place!
• I only watch 3-some porn.
• When I was younger my mom had some tape (yes, VHS) of Ron Jeremy with this african chick fucking on the ledge of a jacuzzi. I watched that shit so much that I broke the tape. OOPS!
• I cannot watch any porn outside of black porn or a black man with a black or latina woman. Anything else does not turn me on at all! (I think it's the voices.)
  
• A man will ejaculate approximately 18 quarts of semen, containing half a trillion sperm, in his lifetime.
• My grandparents are very young at heart still but I refuse to believe that my grandpa has sex. That will taint my admiration of him. However, by force, I have come to terms with my grandma having sex because she continues to remind me. >=[
  
• I don't believe my great-grandparents ever had sex. Pointblank.
• A man's beard grows fastest when he anticipates sex.
• High sex is euphoric.
• My mom caught me masturbating when I was 11 and decided to REMIND me of it via text last year. I still hate her for that.

That concludes tonight's sex talk. If any of this shocks you, you need to get out more. Lmao!

* LINKS ARE NSFW. BUT RIGHT-CLICK > COPY LINK LOCATION. TRUST!

Keep it juicy.
p.s. 200th POST, BITCHESSS!

hurr did + good news.

I'm deciding to do something that I've never done before and stop perming my hair for a while.

I'm not going completely natural because I don't really like my hair when it's not straight. I mean, it's ok but it's not really manageable and it gets dry really quick and I don't like throwing mad oil and shit in my hair because I have oily skin and... blah blah blahh.

I really just want my hair to get strong and thick. It doesn't really break much but I want NO breakage and I want it to get alot thicker and at some point I'm gonna try to go natural but right now I'm not really feeling it. Eventually though, I want to have long, natural hair (maybe in 10 yrs) and I want to know what to do with natural hair because I don't want my daughter to get perms.

Right now (un-straightened and wet) my hair is like an inch and 1/2 past my shoulders in the back but it's layered, so it goes from shoulder, to neck, then chin and then I have angled bangs in the front.

My steps toward my eventual long and natural hair will be to stretching my perms out for 6 months at a time and trying to use minimal heat (I don't really use alot of heat on my hair though. I blow dry maybe 3x a month and flat iron maybe 4x.) I don't really know how this is gonna work so I'll definitely update and let you know if I couldn't tough it out but I'm really gonna try.

In 2 days it will have already been a month and my new growth is veryyy wilder beast right now but I'm gonna try to find some stuff to do with my hair without putting weave in it because.. I'm "ehh" about weaves.

But like I said I'll keep you posted and let you know how this thing goes.

Also I have been really slacking with my school work. But as of this wknd I am gonna be back on my grind. For like the past 2 wks I was being real shitty with my determination and just plain out lazy and that is just not going to cut it. I really need to prove to myself, and everyone else that I'm not just going to be a mediocre C student for my whole college career.

GOOD NEWS! Mommy is planning to move back to Jersey Jerzzz soon! I am so happy! Like moonwalk across the fucking kitchen happy. She told me that Charlotte really isn't what it was projected to be, economically and that the market here for... pretty much everything is cheeks. So, as soon as I get certified (maybe another yr and a half) I'll be packing up the trunk and hauling my shit back to the state that I love - New Jersey, bitch! :]



Keep it juicy.

wasting time with the male species.

I'm done with NF; as I am also done with anything that has a dick attached to it for the time being. (Don't get it twisted, I would never consider women.)

I really am just not trying to deal with dudes because they are all looking for dizzy bitches to run games on and I can't get all emotionally involved in all that bullshit.

I typically keep my feelings guarded but I thought progress was being made so I slipped up. Well, someone spank my hand because look where I am... back at Square 1.

Square 1 isn't that bad though, because when I'm here I'm heartless, unaccommodating, ruthless, foul, and inconsiderate... but my feelings don't get hurt.

It's that 3rd square that always gets me fucked up in the game. When I get a little comfortable with a nigga. (Square 2 is where I feel a dude out and seeing if he can pass the preliminary tests, Square 4 is 'ALL IN')

So, I'm officially on a dating/talking/relationship hiatus right now. Meaning it's time to get the popcorn ready and fluff the pillows as I sit back in the reclining leather chair in Square 1.

Not to mention, I'm sexually frustrated as a MUH. >x[ -- that's the sexual frustration face LOL

the real me, in one paragraph.

^well that's an awkward pic.


My name is Aliyah and I am demented. I like to judge people based on what they eat and I also drive like an asshole. I have 0 annoying ass brothers and 0 bitchy sisters. I wish that my eye color was pink and that I didn't pick a 9:30 class. In order for me to survive I need weed, green tea, my family, and mexican food.. and probably a vibrator. I hate people who spend their whole life biting off others, birds and Walmart. I have no capacity for comprehending bullshit. People most likely think I won't beat their ass but I'm not the one to provoke, TRUST. I need to fill in my eyebrows everyday. I know how to hold the D. I need to work on my times tables. I don't like it when people do not bless me after I sneeze, rude motherfucks! I have an abundance of highlighters in my room. When I am bored I like to bbm my exes in class. By the end of the day all I want is to take a hot shower, listen to Tribe, smoke an L and get my back blown out. In 10 years I want to have a bun in the oven, a pearly white range rover and a ride or die niggi who puts a fat rock on my ring finger. I guess you can say I'm only keepin' it trill.


The end.

* YOU DO IT TO! FILL IN THE BLANKS AND COMMENT ME IF YOU DID IT SO I CAN READ YOURS!