I CAN'T!

I am not racist, but I am real. I love all types of people but I am not afraid to openly discuss, admit, observe and report accurate stereotypes (ie. Indians can't drive.) But I am sick of the ignorance that presents itself in the discussion of men and their disrespect of a black woman. Before I am ANYTHING else (student, friend etc.) I am a black woman and I am getting tired of the blatant down-putting that we receive.

Like this:

This is despicable. How can you have a black mother, black sisters, a black child and make such a statement?

I have no problem with interracial dating. AT ALL! I have dated and find men of different races attractive also, But denying and shunning your own race is disgusting. It's like people are missing the fundamentals.

Personal preference and desires will outweigh expectations but it does not supersede respect. And that ^ up there ^ is intolerable. There is nothing acceptable about a race disrespecting it's women. ...And that goes for any race.

Furthermore, I not only blame the ignorant state of man, I blame our fucked up media for consciously altering the subconscious minds of the masses. Continuously leading us to believe that if you are not white, "exotic," skinny, long haired, part of the upper tier socioeconomic category, have received formal higher education (scratch that obviously, no one gives a fuck about education anymore with the DUMMIES that people are obsessed with ie. Kim Kardashian, All of those 'Hills' people, Beyonce, etc.) or singing a damn sambo song you are not worthy of being seen by the masses. UNLESS YOU ARE ON A VH1 SHOW WHORING YOURSELF OUT FOR 15 MINUTES OF SHAMEFUL FAME and then you are not only a joke but a joke with no dignity.

Besides that, no one cares about your opinion or what you have to say. And this is not to say that there are no deviants (Oprah) but...she arrived in like 1990, it's 2010, where the fuck is the progress?

I have no clue what race the man I'm marrying will be, but hopefully by the time I have kids, my future daughter will never have to feel neglected by people that look just like her (figuratively speaking) and I won't have to embed in my son that all women should be respected.

Hopefully I won't have to make my children understand that although all cultures and races are beautiful, don't deny who you are as an individual nor who you are as a people. Hopefully things will be different. Because it pains me to see this. It doesn't make me hate white girls or want to be any different because I fucking love me. It really just gives me a bleak outlook for the future of self-identity, self-worth and how I'm going to have to unteach my kids the sad perceptions that today's EVEN SADDER society is being led to believe.

do right and kill everything.

Drake is rly starting to get on my nerves with this Lil Kim shit. At first I brushed it off but I started thinking... really bruh, you have no street cred so fall back.



On the plus side, Miss Me is my shit and when I'm driving home from work you can catch me singing right along, BA-LEE DAT!

My one and only came over last night. I have not seen cakes since like May 25 so I was sooo happy. WE DID NOT FUCK. HE WILL NOT BE GETTING ANY UNTIL ALOT OF SHIT CHANGES. Which means I will be fucking with Dixie (my vib) for a good minute. Honestly I'm not off fucking with all, or any of these new dudes that have been pushing up. Although I love sex, I love my healthy kitty-cat even more so...
1. No, muthafuckin-bona, you will not be fine dining @ my expense.

2. No, P, no need in even taking that drive down here from Greensboro because you aint getting none!

3. No, Ant, the grill connect is all I'm interested in, you can move it right along after my teeth get fitted.

And so on...

I will still allow niggas to take me out to dinner though. That is always A Go.

I have not had more than 5 hrs of sleep in the last week and that shit is really starting to catch up to me; my body has been ache-y and I have no energy throughout the day.

With that being said, I have to wake up before the birds tmrw and my bath is waiting for me. Later!

a cake-less diet.

I ate HEEELLLLAAA food today. Also I died my hair. Also I went swimming. Also I will be masturbating tonight because I haven't had sex in like 3 wks and for the past 5 months I had been having sex at least once a week. But there's no more 'boocakes' in my diet so.... yeah.

-I'm watching the VH1 Hip Hop honors and Lil' Romeo is looking tasty right now.-

So about 2 wks ago me and boocakes had a huge 3 day argument. The first day it was just a disagreement, the 2nd day he was drunk and got reckless at the mouth, and the third day he basically said he doesn't think he is in the right place to be with anyone right now and he wants to get his shit together and try things after that. *master side-eye* I agree..he's told me of the shit he's going thru when we first started talking on that level... but wtf that's a waste of a few months.

I cried really hard for a while but then I took a nap and ran on the treadmill to get all my frustrations out then I forced my roommates to go out that night and almost every night since then. Being on my rebound shit I have been bagging and getting bagged left and right. But here I'm in a predicament because me and cakes have been talking alot again and he wants me to come over and talk to him and cook for me when he gets back (he's on vacay) and for now he kinda holds my heart. So I'm lost. I guess I'll have to see what happens when I see him but I can't wait to hug him and its gonna be so hard for me not to kiss him but ima try to stay hands off.

Like I said though, I have been doing me in the meantime and one of the dudes I met came down to spend some time with me and he is cool but idk about him. He does some kind of crazy work where he works all damn day and with him living about an hr away that might be inconvenient as all hell.

I'm trying to get my grill asap. I mean really, it's my #1 priority right now. But I don't want anybody I know IRL to know because I don't want it to become a trend. Like I will straight up cut someone if they up and decide they want a grill after I tell them. I hate that shit!

And here goes thiiiis niggaaa:

Edit: Picture Removed

SIDEBAR: I guess I'll be back on this again seeing as I don't have shit else to do but work these days.

spring cleaning.

I think I need to cleanse myself. I think I'm going to start doing things by the Old Farmer's Almanac and see if it works. *shrug*

Also it's time for things to get fun again, this rain is bringing everyone's mood down around here. I need to get to the strip club or something.

I bought a Hello Kitty cup today when I went food shopping.


I wore silk charmeuse despite the rain, because I didn't have time to change, which was a feat within itself. x_x

Me and boocakes are still me and boocakes - time to bring in some toys or something.

:)freebud.

I ate too many cupcakes today. I rarely eat sweets but I had a cupcake craving so I made some. I also had a sandwich and chips & dip bc I had the munchies. I'm gonna regret eating all that tmrw!

I really need to stop going to sleep so late now. I'm no good @ this anymore and it's starting to catch up with me.

My bday is coming up and all I can think about is doing the same shit I do every wknd: go out to eat, do a little shopping, come back home, puff a L, (if its a wknd) sip on something, play spades, get D-ed down, sleep in and watch tv on the couch the next morning. I'm not even into all that extra bidextra bday hype. I'm just trying to live good that day.

Plus my court date is the very next day so I'm prob. gonna celebrate only on Saturday anyways.

BOY-OH-BOY! Mo'money, mo'problems.

filling you in.

Just so you know I'm supposed to be reading Turn of the Screw right now. I used to read alot when I was younger but now I feel like I should either be doing something or relaxing instead of reading. Basically, reading is no longer relaxing, it's become a chore.

I have bad cramps right now. I'm kind of feeling very carefree because my cramps are taking over my whole life and it makes me not want to do shit.

I spent $20 ordering Pizza Hut $0.50 wings and chocolate dunkers and I only ate about 1/4 of what I bought. That was an indulgent waste of money. My appetite isnt the same. Idk if it's because I'm getting older but I don't like fast food anymore. It makes me sick. Hamburger patties look like fucking chopped flesh nowadays. Yuck! I wish I had more time and money to make food at home but it's more expensive to buy groceries to cook for one person than it is to just get food out.

I feel like I've met my match and my long term spades partner (boocakes). We spank ass every game and even if we get set twice we pull through and come out on top.

...So much subliminal.

CRAMPSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS ! *punches the wall*

I just spent an hour on facebook and still didn't finish reading Turn of the Screw. Gayy.

I can never think of things to talk about on here anymore. I've become uninspired. My life is mundane. There's no such thing as a "weekend" anymore. Monday's I open the store @ 9:30am then babysit until 9:30pm. TWTh I'm in school. FSatSun work again. Next week, repeat.

I didn't quit smoking cuz I'm not getting a new car until Jan. LOL! (I bet yall knew that wasn't gonna last.) But I hardly smoke anymore though. I get my cravings but I rarely keep weed around me and since boocakes quit for a while and I refuse to buy my own (we stopped doing those sophomore yr.) I'm only willing to purchase o's and up because buying 10s and 20s is a waste of money. And at this point in my life what do I really need with an oz of green and no one to blow down with? I don't have the time for that and that will just result in either stale ass bud or an over dose. So I'll just stick with getting nugs from mommy and waiting until my nigga gets back in the game.

I need to change my hair or something. I wanna cut it kinda but I'm scared. I am too "tenderheaded" to get braids. WEAVE well............................... it's a thought but.............................. it's NOT REAL and................. I don't HATE it but.................... ehh.

My roommates nigga finished off a bottle of my juice for the 3rd time this week. So you know I had to put somebody in check today, right? Yeah, I'm not the one.

My booty getting fat boyyy :) And I'm keeping the rest of my shit on point. I'm trying to lose maybe 5 more pounds for the summer so back to baby food, fresh fruit, nasty granola bars, soup, agua all day, green tea, blazay blah and most of all the gymmmmmmm :) I don't really have time to go to the gym anymore but after I gained and lost my freshman 15 I refuse to gain it again or surpass 145 so I gotta do what I gotta do and stop being lazy on my off days.

We're supposed to be taking a roadtrip to Jersey in May. I'm trying to buy my baby cousin an itouch for his grad present. He's like my little brother and I just wanna get him something that I know he'll really appreciate. I miss my grandma to pieces too. She is like, my whole life.


That's her facebook pic. (DON'T ASK LOL)

This is becoming an overshare. Goodnight.

happy vday - cp time.

I'm all late but.. Happy Valentines Day.

Smooches and all that good shit.

I'm not about patronizing the whole... chocolates, flowers and random gifts aspect of Vday because frankly, I don't give two shits about niggas trying to do the most on February 14th. That's so cliche and I'm not one to appreciate romanticism. (I think it's cheesy.) I'm just tryna have a good day, and I did. I woke up next to him, smoked a L, had breakfast with my roomie and her niggi and my niggi, and like clockwork I was in my skirt and heels flying up Eastway to make it to work so I can make my young mulah baby. Because really, What's a day without money made?

Hope everybody else got theirs though. ;] ....Whatever it is that you wanted.

I also would like to add:

• I had some banging Cuban food the other day and I will be going back to get fried yuca.
  
• My AM is bouta get fired cuz she's trife. (Guess who'll be snatching up them hrs...)
  
• And there's probably something else I could've squeezed in here but my brain can't function right now.

I love my followers though so air kisses all around!