Wednesday, October 28, 2009

NOT IN THE CLUB!

I fuck with the club every now and then but I really can't get with it but so much. Females just tend to look real thirsty and I don't even like chicks like that. Sidebar: I don't get why there are so many bitches in the south! Then I refuse to pay to get into the club because why the hell would I buy my way into a sweaty room with niggas who probably won't even get the balls to speak? PASS!

But when I do decide to make it to the club there is some shit that I'd rather not do or see people doing.

  1. Females wearing shoes that are too small/uncomfortable. If your feet are leaning while you are standing in line to get in the club you know damn well that by the end of the night you are gonna be bowlegged.
  2. Males wearing white tees to the club. There is like one place where a white tee is still acceptable attire, the basketball court.
  3. Females who are on their period. Get you a fudge sundae from dairy queen, go to redbox, pick out a couple movies and STAY THE FUCK HOME! Especially if you know when Get Me Bodied comes on you're gonna wanna "drop down low and sweep the floor with it." *gags*
  4. Females and Males do not come to the club and text the whole night. Those end up being the same mf'ers who complain that they didn't get any numbers or no one tried to dance with them.
  5. Males do not come to the club with the outfit you borrowed from your friend who wore the same thing last week. That shit is tacky and whatspoppin.net will expose your ass!
  6. Females be sure to remember that this is not a Soul Train audition. I sometimes wonder how another chick could come out of a club with her whole bang sweated out and smashed onto her forehead and sweat stains on her back. What song were YOU dancing to?
  7. Males and Females deodorant and smell goods must be on smash. Triple check -- because you will be forever known as "that musty nigga" next time you arrive on the scene. Don't play yourself.
  8. Females you do not have to stay in that unapproachable little pack that us ladies tend to do. Niggas will not approach you or your stank ass friends who think they are too cute for everybody. And I will not accept "I'm not even tryna get niggas ANYWAYS! I just came here to dance." No you didn't! You were expecting to get at least 1 drink and a couple numbers; keep it G.
  9. Males playing wingman and or suckling the nutsack of your buddies all night is not cool either. It makes us ladies wonder if you're gay or have no confidence to do your own thing.
  10. Females you need not wear your trash panties to the club. Put on the semi-sexy shits because the likely pantie exposure that is bound to happen will be EM-BAR-A-SING if you have on dingy Fruit of the Looms.
  11. Males, "making it rain" got played out in like 1872. Do no throw money in the air and expect classy females to run in their heels to collect. ...FUCK YOU THINK THIS IS?
Take heed.

12 comments:

Trell said...

your problem is your worrying about females too much when you should be focused on you and your friends havin a good time/what the dj playing/what the opposite sex game is like in there....P.s after the liquor kicks in and the dj goes in and the purp is still in rotation no man is going to care if a female got on extra small shoes "as long as the curves is right the fish will bite"

Eury said...

^^ disagrees. I have been drunk/nice/tipsy at clubs and other people have ruined it for me. Lalaliybean ur right except about the wanting to just dance thing.

I have a man and sometimes I just like to get dressed up, go out, and dance. The sweaty dudes in my face studdering w/bad breath is a huge turn off.


But i havent been out in a min soon...

tha unpretentious narcissist © said...

i can't even understand the clubs no more. i feel you on the white tee thing, but at the same time why i'm gonna get dressed up to come to a dim lit club where someone gonna waste a drink on me and i'm not gonna meet the future mother of my kids anyway?..

if you at a club you know what you're getting. that goes for hollering at someone at a club. that's not gonna be the what's good tomorrow so just go and have a good time.

lalaliybean said...

whoa!

i can have fun in the club but that atmosphere is not preferable when i see all this type of stuff. and unless i plot myself in a circle of dudes i'll, 9x out of 10, find myself surrounded by females. it's inevitable.

and to hell if i care what a man picks up for the night! this is from a female p.o.v though and we notice stuff like that. (ill-fitting dresses, too small shoes, too much makeup, etc.)

☆Reese✮ said...

Dear La,
This here list made me laugh til' I cried, I didn't wanna believe it before, but you really "ain't shit" and I say that with Love and all that.
Yo ain't shit blogger-in-crime,
Reese.

ps. I got to #9 and spit my ice tea out PREACH girl!

☆Reese✮ said...

Oh and I'm snatching this, because I want the masses to preciate yo list even more!

lalaliybean said...

thank you, love!

RoByn LaTice said...

lol..I agree with them all too, well except for the one about always going out to get a number or a drink. bc I get hella annoyed when them dudes approach me sometimes. But i hate club scenes as well. The whole atmosphere could be better...I just dont get the big whoop about it.

s a s h a said...

lmao

amber jene' said...

uh ohh. i see some debates!.
i agree w/ you on some aspects
but listenn.
ive beeen on your page for the past 5 mins listenin to the wu!

Marie said...

see im weird. i dont see the point in paying a cover [& if you go to a "good club" its gonna be a nice piece of cash] to be all up in a packed area with everyone thinking they are too good for the next one with loud ass music in my ear so i cant even hear myself think. unless im tryna fuck with a crowd like that [ie, new years eve or a girls night out with my closest ladies], ima steer clear of the clubs.

theres nothing wrong with the folks who frequent them, i just dont really get the point.

funny post though mama.

xxxx said...

funny list...i agree with most of the ish you put on this list... especially here in atlanta people be bugging. #2 i kind of agree cause im tired of being overdressed, #3 just nasty, #4 never made sense to me but i wont lie i have done it before. when the club be boring... but yeah that list was on point