top drawer. ;]

We all know what goes into the top drawer of our nightstand. When I was younger I never understood why my mom told me not to go into her nightstand drawer. And actually used to get pissed the fuck off when she told me not to go over there. That is until my little snoopy ass decided I wanted to be in the mix. Smh. What I saw disgusted me and it wasn't until I was about 14 or 15 that I understood what all that was about.

Here's some things that every female should have in their top drawer:

Magnums

Trojan Her Pleasure Condoms

Women should always have their own condoms so there is never an excuse for raw meat. It's hard to get caught up when it all gets hot and heavy and then he doesn't have a condom and neither do you. Invest $12 in your personal health and your future ladies.

A Bullet

A Regular Vibrator

Astroglide

No contest.

Toy Cleaner

If you have sex toys they should be clean. It's not hygienic to not use a toy cleaner and/or clean it regularly.

Or do this:


What do you have in your top drawer?

re-tail.

My ass SWORE I was not going back into retail but unfortunately, with the minimal jobs available now, all the office assistant jobs are full-time or don't work with my hours and the childcare jobs require certification.

UGH! OKKKKKKKKK.

Black Friday was fucking hell. I worked 8 hours and the soles of my feet hurt. I am realizing again how much I hate people and the stupid questions they ask, their carelessness about dropping shit that they REALLY JUST saw me pick up, unruly, undisciplined kids. On top of that I work in a little girls store that some men apparently think is "gay" to walk into so only girls and women walk in leaving me without eye-candy to gawk at.

I drank someone's redbull out of the fridge yesterday after I woke up @ 9:12am because my fucked up blackberry's alarm didn't ring. I don't know if it was my redbull or not (and yall know I do not give one fuck if it wasn't) but I needed it. I flew in and out of the shower, and was swerving in and out of lanes trying to get to work on time @10 because the last thing I need is for "the man" to take me down and leave my ass employed a month before xmas.

Some dude from Haagen Dazs asked for my number. Normally I don't give my number, I'll take the guy's, but I wanted to see if he would be bold enough to take his phone out with his manager right there. Then nigga told me not to make fun of his phone...*rolls eyes*. I just laughed. He pulled out this shit (or something like it):

..which just pissed me off for the remainder of our conversation. I like to think I'm not THATTT superficial but Cricket (the MetroPCS of NC) is not going to cut it. Not now, not never!

Today our DM came in and I just hate having to look fake busy at all times.

I pierced my managers ear today because some little girl was crying about getting her ear pierced and my manager asked her if I pierced her ear would she get her ears pierced and she said yes. (Mind you, I have never pierced an ear in my life.) It was cute and all but my manager was clearly doing the most for that earring sale.

Then I left an hour early because my back hurt. I felt kinda bad though because the lady who has the same position as me got me by like 10-20 years and she walks with a limp, she was there before me and was supposed to leave the same time as me but when my manager asked me if I wanted to go I was fucking GHOST! Sry, Lori. *shrug*

I don't hate Christmas music but if I hear that Ashanti - Hey Santa song one more time I'm going to fucking off myself.

I came to work high one morning this week too and I don't think I'll be doing that again. Aside from the obvious reasons why I shouldn't, I was just dazed and confused for a good hour.

Anyways, I really shouldn't be complaining because some people don't have a job. But I bet if they did they'd be complaining about it too.

In conclusion, the first oz of weed I buy with my paycheck will be rewarding! :) YIPPEE!!!

my well thought out xmas list:

Email me and I will forward you my shipping information. Thank you in advance! :]

1. Nike Terminator - "Day and Night" - I don't get around the way I used to in sneakers. Nor do I typically deal with anything that's not an air max. But these shits with the straps + studs is doing something to me.


2. Palladio Lip Stain in Orchid - Best lip stain ever.


3. The rent and gas paid for a month. That'd be bananas.

4.Mimoco - Hello Kitty Balloon USB - So cutee!


5. Sally Hansen - Ionic-Ceramic Tourmaline Dryer -


6. A puppy from the shelter!

7. Sprint - HTC Hero - (I think)


8. A new weed grinder - Someone stole my old one, shitty potheads.


9. The Andy Warhol Diaries - After watching I Shot Andy Warhol and Factory Girl they just made him seem so strange and misunderstood and I love strange people.


10. 2010 Honda Accord Crosstour - This shit is fucking dope. The Infiniti G35 is my favorite car but if we are talking about new-new shit, this is my babyy!

dark-skinned white girl.

If you don't know about Murs lemme put you on. (Fans probably already know this.) Murs is an underground rapper from LA who is amazing in every sense of the word. If you like shit that resembles Immortal Technique but is a little less political you'll probably like him, so just listen:

If you can't tell what the song is about it's about being the "Wigger" or the "Oreo". I think it's crazy how, although he is a dude, Murs sees what it's like growing up to be a female outcast.

This song really hits home for me because I used to get called an Oreo when I was younger. Because I "talked white" (I could not will myself to say words like "like-did") and had white friends, I lived "across the tracks" on the better side of town, I didn't dick ride Lil Bow Wow when he came out and I didn't wear weave and flat twists.

Today I realize that that type of shit could've broken me, but it didn't. I fought bitches back in the day to teach them to stay in their place. And no, I didn't win every fight but I held my own even when I didn't win because fighting my boy cousins taught me how to rock. It's sad because I know alot of young girls go through an identity crisis and it's most prevalent during the middle school years. What's even worse is that the girls who do all of the running off at the mouth are just as insecure as the girl who gets made fun of; maybe even more.

The "weak" ones always prevail though. I saw one of the chicks who used to call me an oreo at a club last year with dingy braids, a sloppy ass shape, and her shoes had dust bunnies on them. Two other girls had kids. I just looked at them and had that secret moment of singing the "I'm Better Than You" song. And yeah, you can say every life who comes into this world is a beautiful soul and no one regrets having their kids because they can't see themselves without them blahh blahh blahhh but I am grateful to not have a little doodoo butt to clean up after, a "babbyzaddy" and another mouth to feed at 19 years old.

So to all you bussit-babies out there who felt like my vocabulary and enunciation made me too "white," eat my dick after I dip it into these Oreo cookie crumbles. :] (Yummy!)