Monday, November 15, 2010

too bad, november.

This is a weird month. Things have been looking bad for all who I know and as far as school, I have been slacking horrendously. It's really a shame. I can only blame it on me alone, however I went to see my doctor who told me that stress, depression and my extremely low Vitamin D levels are contributing to my lack of motivation, my constant sleepiness, and my lack of energy as well.

Besides that I am a lucky woman right now because I have a love interest that cares about me and vice versa. Because of that I know that alot of things will be alright. Maybe not everything, but just having that additional light in your life brings about a certain type of joyousness and happiness that is much appreciated.

I love my job.
I have a slight distaste for weed now therefore I don't smoke now. For one, I haven't had anything exotic since I brought my stuff back from NJ and because of that I don't really like anything else because of that slumpy, dead weight feeling it gives you, and that nasty ass taste it leaves in my mouth that makes me want to brush my teeth right after. So I pass on many blunts now. I'm over it.

I just really need to put the missing piece of the puzzle in place and that would be to get my school shit together. I am a smart cookie and I need to use this to my advantage and remember why I am here. I need to really take advantage of my brain and be excited to learn. Somehow I must figure out a way to make myself eager to receive education because sometimes it seems like a chore. I realize what the power of knowledge is but I just don't know how to translate this into really getting my education. UGHH I have some work to do.

My roommate and her bf fought the other day and I called the cops. Knives were involved, pots, her computer is nearly split in half, she bit the shit out of his shoulder and I believe chunks were missing. I'm not going to even tell you how I feel about this situation because honestly does it even matter? She will still be dating and dealing with dude, and his 1 yr old, and his babymoms, and his lack of diploma, GED, car, place to live (he has technically been living with us for the past 2 months), or job. I hate to be a Debbie Downer but some people really don't ever want to be more than nothing, and the women and men who support these types are pathetic.

I need to really start going to church because I am honestly fearful that the world we live in is sure to end soon. I don't know that religion has anything to do with it but I definitely need to approach a spiritual understanding and relationship so that I can keep myself sane in these times. I'm scared.

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