leave me alone!

Avoiding people is hard when you care about them and you know they care about you. I have some shit with me and a whole heap of hw to do and my boo just wants to spend time with me. And after our little riffs with eachother there's nothing more that I'd like to do than lay up with him on this rainy night in his new apartment or have him come see me or make dinner for him and watch movies .. yadda yadda.. all that mushy shit. But I can't and it's breaking my heart.

On the flip side though, I have to do what I have to do. He is graduating in Dec. and I'm not. I wish I was even graduating next year....but again, I'm not. So I have to take my Ls right now when it comes to the boo shit and make sure that my grades and what's going on with me is correct before I worry about someone else's time and emotions.

Honestly I have a history of letting relationships get the best of me and allowing a dude to consume my time so much so that I don't get my own shit done--when it comes to school work. I put things to the side and say I'll get back to them because I cherish the time that I spend with those that I care about. But this time I'm not putting my work on the back burner because the expense is mine, not his.

It's time for me to get back to my paper now. (5 page research paper on unemployment/welfare abuse in America)

Its also time for me to get back on my exercise grind. I sware I gained 5 pounds. YUCHHCHCHHCHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!