Tuesday, September 22, 2009

This is a test:

Dudes have these little tests that they think we, females, don't know about; like we're clueless. Well I have too many male friends and boy cousins that are damn-near brothers, to not know the deal. Actually, in order for a girl to make it with 2 of my cousins I have to meet her and feel her out myself. So fellas, don't sleep on us females because some of us are more "in the know" than you think.

As far as us females are concerned, we also have our little tests. There are certain points that you must pass in order to get a gold star next to your name. For one, these tests are subjective so don't think that the things that I say here are set in stone. And you never know when we'll be testing you boys so KEEP YOUR P'S AND Q'S UP!

Test #1: The "Time of the Month" Test --

If there's one week in the month that you need to be on your job it's DEFINITELY the week of our period. Simple things will get you in good like going to pick up food for us or going to take out the garbage so we don't have to get up. But you'll get extra brownie points for doing things like rubbing our tummy's or baking cookies when we get a craving for some chocolate (OK, I don't really expect that to happen). Although the real test is during the 1st month, if you remember things from month to month that'll definitely help! For example, back in the day my favorite candy during that time was Ferrero Rocher and 1 year my ex bought me this HUGEEEE tray thingy of the candy. I was snacking on that shit every month and it always made me think of him. Clearly it helped because it's significant enough for me to mention now.

Test #2: The "Not This Time" Test --

Sometimes, for the sake of our personal being, we like to test our dudes and see if they REALLY are in it for more than the good-good. So sometimes (depending on the situation) we'll say we don't wanna have sex. Sometimes we want it just as bad as you do but we wanna know what your true intentions are with us. Don't confuse spite with the test though. If you did something fucked some females will also say no. But expect this test sometime between the 1st and 4th time you have sex.

Test #3: "Can you do me a favor and pick me up a....?" Test --
A true test of reliability, generosity, dependability, and another test of how important we are to you, we may ask you to pick us up a.....whateverthefuck from the store just to see what the response is. Sometimes we really need it and we use the opportunity to test you or sometimes, we don't need that shit at all we're just bored. The point is we want to see if you are willing to do for us like we would do for you given the relationship progresses further. My suggestion is, for the first YEAR just always say yes. And LADIES don't ask for tampons in the first year, you should most likely expect a no.

Test #4: Meeting the Family --
My family is a group of loud drunkards who will ask you any question. In no way are they trying to be intimidating or interrogating, they just expect people to be as open and outgoing as they are. Therefore, coming to my grandma's house on a day when everybody's there can be quite scurrrrry. But if you can walk out of my grandma's house with a smile on your face I know that you'll make it with me. My family is an extension of me and I spend all of my holidays with them. They were here before any dude came along and will be there if he breaks my heart and that pretty much substantiates my reasoning on why you must get at least a B+ on the family test.

Test #5: The "Sweatpants, Hair Tied, Chillin' with NO Makeup On" Test --
Pretty self-explanatory. This test normally comes towards the end of the 1st month. And I know everyone's probably heard this quote before but it is quite true, "If you can't accept me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best." And LADIES, don't even front like you always look the way you did if you met in the club with the heels on, freakum dress and makeup and hair did. Keep it 100, not just with him, but with yourself.

I can't think of any more tests right now. Ladies, if there are anymore that you can think of PUT THEM IN THE COMMENT BOX. Also, lemme know if this is some of the stuff that you do.


E-Rich said...

I hate tests. They're a lot easier when you know you're taking one. It's the first one I have a problem with most.

khaki said...

Tests is just a better word for "gaming". ladies play games...
there's the "lets see if my friends like you" game. The "im not going to tell you what i want for my birthday im just gonna let you pick out something" game...
List goes on but I found this post quite interesting.