i came, i saw and i conquered that ass.

Negativity sometimes gets the best of me. But I truly believe that I am a realist and negativity is inevitable when you are looking at things from a genuine perspective without over or under reaching. There's some things I've come to realize in this past year that have made this year an epic one.

Females cannot be trusted as far as you can throw em, catch em, even reach out and touch them with your index finger. And when I say "trust" it's not even a matter of them lying or being deceitful, although that's included, it's just a matter of realness and genuineness. You cannot trust a female to tell the full and complete truth and you cannot trust a female to be reliant. Shit.. you just cant trust a bitch, pointblank.

I'm not even going to go as far as to say that I'm not one of these said females, because I lie, cheat, steal, embellish, so on and so forth. But despite all that, I do not stunt. Come time for confrontation or if there is an issue with me and another person, I will not bite my tongue or withhold my feelings. And no, it's not because I am just "so honest" or "in your face" it's because shit don't get solved without confrontation. And if you don't know I'm all about me and mines so if getting my way involves using MY mouth then so-be-it.

I'm not ruthless, it's just my demeanor. I've been an outspoken person all of my life and keeping your mouth shut doesn't get shit solved. People don't have mind detectors so shit has to be said.

Furthermore, I've learned that age truly is experience. I used to roll my eyes at the statement "respect your elders." WHAT THE FUCK FOR?! I mean just cuz they're old doesn't mean anything. But in living life I'm starting to see that some of the shit that meant alot to me at even 17, is trivial bullshit to me now. Some thing's aren't worth the drama, at this age, for me to even deal with it. I don't have enough time on my hands to deal with the run-around either. I do still believe that there are some dizzy ass adults though. Everybody hasn't learned from the experiences that life has thrown at them so, although they grow in year, they don't grow in intellect. It is what it is though.

It also seems to me that everybody has vulnerabilities and weaknesses that they are SO SCARED to let the outside world see. When I was younger, I could understand it more so. Back in the day when people used to get made fun of in school because of stupid shit. But as I'm getting older I see that EVERYBODY has their own personal self-struggles. Regular folk like me and you, people in the limelight, EVERYBODY! The only difference that exists between us is either the confidence we create or the facade of confidence. Either way, it helps us get by in our everyday lives but when we get home by ourselves and each look into our mirrors individually, we have to face what the truth inside of us is.

Those of us who have confidence seem to have created an impenetrable shell that keeps others from significantly affecting us. I don't think that people are unaffected in total. But the strength and assurance we have inside us is what makes us able to deal with with criticism.

Those who have created a facade would like to have that shell that restricts criticism and outside elements from affecting them, but they don't. They just don't have it! And in an effort to be seen as a strong, and resilient being in this crude world, they put on a mask of confidence that blinds their real selves. It's only when they get back home and look in the mirror at themselves, and take that mask off that they truly see themselves for who they are and some people just can't take it.

I feel sad for the people who can't deal with criticism though. Because it's gonna happen. We are criticized all our lives. From the time we're in school, being made fun of, taking tests to criticize our intelligence. Even as we grow into adults, by submitting college applications and interviewing for jobs we're being criticized. That's what this world, and the nature of humans is.

Although unfortunate, these things are unchangeable. And it takes time, and experience; failure and struggle to see these things. Those who never fail and never struggle have a harder time realizing what it all really is but this is it. This is real life.