Monday, September 27, 2010

time off.

I just got back yesterday from the 2nd weekend in Miami for training for my new job so it's time for me to get back into the swing of things. I think I went to a total of 2 of my 8 classes last week and I'm ashamed and can see myself resorting to my old ways and I don't want that to happen so it's time to get crackin'.

Overall everything is good on the home front. I just got a new(er) car since my car really was just too fucked up to drive anymore so I got an '02 Ford Taurus. It's a nice car, don't get me wrong, but that's not what I wanted. It reminds me of a mommy car. I am grateful that I am in the financial position I'm in to be able to get a car but I'm still aiming to get a Ford Explorer Sport Trac or Nissan Xterra by Jan. so.... fingers crossed on that.

My new car is named Breezy.

Cakes has been hitting me up for the past month making little remarks to get me to pay him some attention via text. Just this past wknd he hit me up saying he was going to be deleting our conversations, and my number, because he wants to "stop missing me". I told him to do what he has to do. He really makes me feel guilty for moving on and trying to achieve an actual relationship with someone. He wasn't willing to make a commitment when I wanted one and as of this wknd he asked if I would give him another chance and he'll do whatever I want. I said I'll see, but yesterday I told him that isn't gonna work out because I'm involved with someone else and I'm not interested in playing the games or disrespecting my relationship with Vito. He had his chance and it's time to let it burn. *kanye shrug*

I'll be looking for new apartments soon because my lease ends in August and I no longer can live with 3 other females. Some people are so set in their ways that it pains them to adjust to different lifestyles and living situations (including myself) so I want to move on to a place where I will pay my own rent and live my own way....and I want a puppy. I'm really just getting sick of smelling other people's food and cigarette stench, and hearing other's phone conversations and not being able to scream at the top of my lungs if I want when I'm doing the nasty. The only other person I may live with is my cousin from Raleigh who goes to college in Charlotte. It's her first year and she graduated early also so she's younger than me but she's mature and I don't really trust anyone new living with me besides family.

I have to take my Praxis sometime soon so I can get into my program and make my way out of college. It's crazy because alot of the people I graduated highschool with are graduating now which kinda pisses me off because I'm still in but my transfer fucked me up and I wasted some semesters bullshittin. It's my own fault but it's whatever.

My stash has dwindled down little by little so now it's non-existent and I'm devistated about it but I definitely see the difference in my focus. Plus I'm starting a new job and trying to get some things together and the green does nothing but distract me and make me lazy and hungry and fat if I don't work out lol. Plus I'm trying to decrease my habit too. I can literally face 2 a day if I'm not careful and that's neither cute or productive. That's alot of time wasted not being 100% and when I really think about it I realize how much of my week flashes by my eyes while ^ and I could've been doing so much more. As long as I slow my usage I think my tolerance and desire to blow will decrease and hopefully I will be completely done soon. I've kinda told myself that I want to be done by the time I turn 22, like completely turned off from it but who knows? I just know that I want to be well done at least a year before I have kids.

I'm just babbling though.. Lemme get back to this damn math hw.

1 comment:

adina renée. said...

i'm glad to see that everything is going well for you, love. <3